Don’t ask, just do


I’m never going to say this again.

“Let me/us know if there is anything I/we can do.”

Here is what I’m gonna do in future now that I’m on the tragedy end of suckiness. Most of this stuff is free.

  • Follow that up with another sentence. “Off the top of my head…”
    • I could help out with yard work on a weekend
    • Let’s find an online game and play once a week
    • Set up a regular date for a drink/muffin/walk
    • I could do late night shopping on Thursday with you or for you once a month
    • Teach you how to play the ukulele and thus torture those nearest and dearest to you

Other stuff that I could do is:

  • Write a letter – not an email. Fuck email for hardcore emotional situations. Any dick can fire off an email or a text. It takes a special dick to send a letter.
  • Send a homemade something via the post. If you can’t cook or craft or take photos – print out some colouring pages and send them with colourful textas.
  • If in the same town, tee up a get-together that’s fun and doesn’t involve lots of teary “poor you” stuff. I’ll get my emotions out first.
  • Create a gift certificate good for one housecleaning, yard sweeping, car washing, errand running, whatever. Dealing with heavy emotions is exhausting.
  • Buy a $5 USB stick and throw on some music or a comedy schtick that makes me laugh/cheers me up and send it to the nice people.
  • Interstaters, arrange a dude flick/chick flick night where me and the other person both get the same flick and start it at the same time, then text chat via Twitter, FB or Skype.
  • Same-towners, a pyjama party would be great. Popcorn, movies, pizza – get out of the house and don’t dress up.

It’s about memories, experiences, stress relievers and sharing of one’s self. One thing a terminal illness situation does is to make “stuff” look like what it is: worthless. And chances are the survivor will throw any stuff that reminds them of the situation and the pain away.

George Carlin on stuff…

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