I’m never going to say this again.
“Let me/us know if there is anything I/we can do.”
Here is what I’m gonna do in future now that I’m on the tragedy end of suckiness. Most of this stuff is free.
- Follow that up with another sentence. “Off the top of my head…”
- I could help out with yard work on a weekend
- Let’s find an online game and play once a week
- Set up a regular date for a drink/muffin/walk
- I could do late night shopping on Thursday with you or for you once a month
- Teach you how to play the ukulele and thus torture those nearest and dearest to you
Other stuff that I could do is:
- Write a letter – not an email. Fuck email for hardcore emotional situations. Any dick can fire off an email or a text. It takes a special dick to send a letter.
- Send a homemade something via the post. If you can’t cook or craft or take photos – print out some colouring pages and send them with colourful textas.
- If in the same town, tee up a get-together that’s fun and doesn’t involve lots of teary “poor you” stuff. I’ll get my emotions out first.
- Create a gift certificate good for one housecleaning, yard sweeping, car washing, errand running, whatever. Dealing with heavy emotions is exhausting.
- Buy a $5 USB stick and throw on some music or a comedy schtick that makes me laugh/cheers me up and send it to the nice people.
- Interstaters, arrange a dude flick/chick flick night where me and the other person both get the same flick and start it at the same time, then text chat via Twitter, FB or Skype.
- Same-towners, a pyjama party would be great. Popcorn, movies, pizza – get out of the house and don’t dress up.
It’s about memories, experiences, stress relievers and sharing of one’s self. One thing a terminal illness situation does is to make “stuff” look like what it is: worthless. And chances are the survivor will throw any stuff that reminds them of the situation and the pain away.
George Carlin on stuff…