Exercise from grief book: 10 minute brainstorm of Paul


Paul - March 2015
Paul – March 2015

His perfect small teeth, big brown eyes, wonderful sharp nose, high cheekbones and the curve of his face. His wonderfully graceful thumbs. His lush steely brown/grey hair. His laughter. The graceful arch of his eyebrows.  The rapid click of the keyboard under his deft fingers.

His wonderful kissing. The way he’d knead his hand in the air at me and ask “Howzit?”

When we went to Kangaroo Island for our anniversary and I slammed his thumb in the sand chair – he wasn’t even angry with me. We laid under the stars and didn’t have to say anything. Our eyes tearing up at the beauty of the stars there. His excitement and skinny, wet legs as I caught a fish and then he did.

Driving with him and having him ask, a grin on his face, who I was talking to mentally. He ALWAYS knew.

Skinny,young,shy Paul having to go into the busy liquor store on our first Christmas Eve to pick up the 6-foot plywood Christmas stocking of grog and bits and pieces we’d won.  I still have the platter.

Sadness and compassion on his face when I lost Nana and then Uncle Joey. He stroked my face so gently and hugged me so long and well!

Excitement when he was figuring out a new recipe – the intensity of him!

His sharp wit during movies and commercials, where we’d compete to make each other laugh.

The way he looked at me lovingly and told me that dull and drab were two words he’d NEVER associate with me as he lay in the ICU and I explained to the nurse why I was dressed so nicely with my hair and make-up done.

Him saying “You nuttah!” to me when I came out dressed up outrageously.

Him talking to his nephews using terms like “dude” or “man” and how much he loved them.

The joy he took in preparing meals, in eating good food and tasting nice wine!

How gentle he was with our cats and how much Niello loved him.

Waking up with him on weekends and how cute and boyish he was before he fully woke up.

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