I have just slipped back into the turbulent world of dating – but this time as a 50-something widow. Being out of the dating scene for 25 years, I’m finding the tech I loved so much for keeping in touch with friends turns into a soul-scarring minefield of confusion when it comes to dating.
The most volatile issue in dating tech – besides the Samsung Galaxy Note 7 – is texting. Back in the day (pre-1990), if a guy didn’t call you for three or four days after a date – it started sucking and you got the idea that things weren’t going to spark. You at most gave out your home phone, so you didn’t know until night-time whether or not he’d not bothered to reach out and touch you (not in the Donald Drumpf sense, more in the AT&T commercial sense ).
NOW, there’s instant texting. Not as invasive as a phone call, not as formal and distant as email. My friends and I text less than our younger peers – but still, it’s a way of reaching out that is immediate enough to satisfy a feeling of companionship.
But in DATING – there are all sorts of rules and they range along a continuum. At one end is “NEVER text”. This seems a bit extreme to me. After all, texting is convenient and can be fun. At the other end is “Text whenever you get the urge. If it annoys him, you’ve got the wrong guy.” Again, this seems a bit extreme to me. IMHO* , communication in any medium is a dance people need to learn together in order to set a rhythm and pace that they can eventually identify and feel comfortable with.
There is also “data” quoted that points to men not being that interested in texting as a regular communication. They of the masculine variety apparently use it for practical purposes (setting up times and places to meet) whereas we girlie folk use it to chat, touch base, to send virtual affection (real affection virtually), share photos AND for practical purposes.
If it weren’t for my obsession with my FitBit, I’d consider turning my phone off during the day just to avoid thinking about it.
One thing I do know – as I start dating, I’m not going to ask if the gentleman in question has a Facebook page and “Friend” him there. Dating is already ruining texting for me. The last thing I’d want is to have to edit my foul-mouthed Facebook posts. But I WILL be looking him up on Linked In…
*In My Humble Opinion (Golly gee I’m trendy!)